Past and Future Me's

Ferreting through my box of old writings today (such a lovely rainy-Sunday activity) I unearthed this. I must have written it twenty-five years ago, as I refer to 'my children' as if I might have some - I never did. I remember even as a teenager having this strong feeling of connection with future "me's", that my life was all happening all at once, but I forgot it in my thirties, to be re-awakened to it in my mid-forties. It was partly this reconnection between past and future "me's" that helped to heal me of my depression. I have a "family of me's" all ready to support each other.

I'm glad I kept everything I ever wrote. Ink is more durable than memory.


Now I know what Sam Clements meant. [Who? Did I mean Samuel Clemens - Mark Twain? If I did, I can only have read a little of his stuff - he put forward so many viewpoints across his life.] Everything is ordained, he insisted, mapped out, planned; our lives stretching before us as well as behind; the book has been written, read, and closed long before we take our first breath.


Sometimes it can seem so. But still, I have the choice to lay down my pen and walk out of the room, I could scream, put out my cigarette, cry for lost lovers - I don't, but I have the feeling that I could. Perhaps the feeling is just part of the detailed passage about my life, my thoughts.


Certainly it seems that we cannot choose who we love. We fall, always the word used, in love with this person or that - by chance? Or does some superpower, some force, some cosmic intelligence, cause a shift in the infrastructure of space and time which presents us with this person to love? Here she is, here he is. Here I am. I stand before you, it is ordained that you love me. You cannot resist. Indeed, trying to resist is only part of the play, written, edited and finalised long ago.


I am young, but I feel old. There is no difference. Age is a definition with no meaning. I am thirteen, twenty, thirty-two, sixty, all at once. I am unborn, I am dead. This moment is one viewpoint in my life, I remember all that has happened, from being born to dying. Lovers in succession, marching, trampling over me, trampling each other, feeling my hard boot on their faces. Yes, all is love and beauty, all is heartache, apathy, grey.


Yes, my children are all dead. Their children are dead. That is the only certainty. If ever they lived at all.


Who sees fit to control me in this way? What huge game is this? Why am I not aware of what is in store for me? Where is the cosmic library holding life-stories about each of us? Could I not read the passage about me, and thus relieve myself of painful decision-making, if the decision is already made?


I don't believe it! I can and will take control. I will rule me, no-one else can get near.


Why do I hear such a peal of cosmic laughter?

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Healthy Money

Money isn't real.  It's what I've always instinctively felt and have insisted for years.  And now I'm hearing it confirmed by unassailable sources.

Not only is money not real, but it's being used in a highly effective con which concentrates more and more money (power) in the hands of a few, effectively enslaving the rest of us.  This money system, built on scarcity, creates suffering and starvation.  How many times have we heard that we have the resources to feed everyone on the planet?  Why can't we?  Because if there's no profit in it, the current monetary paradigm won't allow it to happen.

Now, I believe that without the distortion of this monetary system, people would prove themselves to be fundamentally cooperative and collaborative, and the hungry would soon be fed.  And I'm delighted to say that there are great minds at work on just how we can move from this current, seemingly hopeless, pathological system into one where that will be possible.  Not only will it be possible, but people all around the world are already putting many of the new ideas into practice.  Just don't expect to hear about it from the conventional media.

A fantastic introduction to all this and an inspiration to us all is provided (yet again) from the fabulous Shift Network.  They are running a Healthy Money Summit and it has really got me excited.  If you want to know a bit more about how you can make a difference to your own life and how what you do can slot into the bigger picture, I really recommend this free audio series. 

In fact, I urge everyone to listen in to at least some of it.  This is about how we CAN make the changes, starting right now.

Jumping up and down in glee ...!

Six Heart Virtues

The reason we have a physical existence, it seems to me, is to bring intention into form: to act.  Beautiful thoughts are only a start, a spark in the dark, until we create something from them.

In 2011 I am going to be thinking about the six heart virtues, reflecting on their meanings for me personally, and aiming to bring them into form through my everyday actions. 

This, I believe, is the purpose we all share, over and above any specific and unique life purpose.

The six heart virtues as described by James of the Wingmakers are:

• compassion
• forgiveness
• humility
• valour
• understanding
• appreciation

Here's to a splendid, sparkling 2011.  I see you, you shining light, and you are magnificent.

Shine on.